Well to start off this post, I want to explain what I mean by drama queen. My aunt gave me the nickname to be good instead of bad. My family always used it in a negative way, but she showed me that its okay to be dramatic in the right settings. But lately there has been too much stuff in my life going on for me to handle.
Everywhere I seem to go I always end up getting some sort of drama getting in the way of me trying to just relax. I seem to always find a way to mess things up somehow. I lost a book I need for an essay I have to write this weekend. I have tried to find it online and it wont be here in time for me to turn in the essay. So my only option was to go asking my professor to send me some information on the documents so I can find them and do the essay. He doesn't have to help me and that is what is stressing me out the most.
Next is my friends. I seem to be losing more than I am keeping close to me and it makes me depressed all the time. I know usually I am the one giving advice to help them out but lately I have been going to others for advice. That is not like me and its making me worried that I am not able to help myself anymore. It almost seems like I have to go to therapy all over again. I went for years before they said I was fine and now a year later I want to go back. It is just sad in my book.
And with college is a fun story in itself. I am so stressed at making my own way in this world with getting my own job that I enjoy and school just seem to always be clashing over and over again. I found a new job at Starbucks to help with me getting sick at the day care but now I wont have weekends to do homework when it comes down to it. I just want to get my Associates and take a break but everyone will be mad at me.....I just don't know what to do. Comment if you have some advice. I am willing to listen. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Hello I Am Back!!
Hey guys. It has been a long time since my last post even though I kept promising that I would be posting more often with new things. I have just been very out of it lately after a break up with Allan, the guy I mentioned in a lot of my later posts. We decided that as the relationship dragged out longer, we started to feel like we were not 100 percent happy being with each other when we felt happier with different people of our same gender. I am stating right now that I am bisexual and I would really appreciate no hate towards this fact about me. I prefer guys yes, but I really also like girls in the same way as I do guys. If you want to make a rude comment, than please don't make one at all and don't read my blog anymore.
I have been trying to find more things to get me out of this fog I have been in. That and with my stressful school schedule and working full time with kids, it has been a while since I have had enough time to be able to post anywhere especially on my three blogs. I have just been trying to put on a bright smile and keep on working towards getting a better life for my future. "With more opportunity, you are able to do what ever you want in life", my god father keeps telling me.
Well this was all the post I planned on adding for today. I have been trying to write more poems which I will also post when they are finished. Short stories have become very rare so I may not post any of them soon. Well, goodbye for now.
Thanks for reading <3
I have been trying to find more things to get me out of this fog I have been in. That and with my stressful school schedule and working full time with kids, it has been a while since I have had enough time to be able to post anywhere especially on my three blogs. I have just been trying to put on a bright smile and keep on working towards getting a better life for my future. "With more opportunity, you are able to do what ever you want in life", my god father keeps telling me.
Well this was all the post I planned on adding for today. I have been trying to write more poems which I will also post when they are finished. Short stories have become very rare so I may not post any of them soon. Well, goodbye for now.
Thanks for reading <3
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Poetry Slam: The Five Senses of Happiness
The sound of sleeping children.
The feeling of your breath being taken away from joy or even shock.
The smell of fresh roses given from a loved one.
The sight of a newborn baby opening his eyes for the first time.
The touch of brand new silk sheets ready for you to drift fast asleep.
The sweet taste of fresh Texas's peaches picked that morning off the tree.
Many things can express what makes me happy.
But there are not enough words to express how much I love you.
~Thank for reading.
The feeling of your breath being taken away from joy or even shock.
The smell of fresh roses given from a loved one.
The sight of a newborn baby opening his eyes for the first time.
The touch of brand new silk sheets ready for you to drift fast asleep.
The sweet taste of fresh Texas's peaches picked that morning off the tree.
Many things can express what makes me happy.
But there are not enough words to express how much I love you.
~Thank for reading.
Relationship Tips
1. Never stop dating your partner.
2. Always talk to them about your worries and concerns.
3. Don't be afriad to share your deepest darkest secrets with them.
4. Tell them you love them every day.
5. Show your passion for each other in some small ways.
6. Never go to bed angry at each other even if you do not live together.
7. Keep thinking about the other person.
8. Do something you both love to do.
9. Do not be afriad to try something different with each other every once in a while.
10. Never forget to be their friend as well.
11. Never end the conversations with just "goodbye".
These were just some simple basic things that I wrote down after a nice calming Saturday with my boyfriend. It got me to think about what all I learned in the different relationships that I have been in. I hope these help you out like they have helped me.
~Thanks for reading.
2. Always talk to them about your worries and concerns.
3. Don't be afriad to share your deepest darkest secrets with them.
4. Tell them you love them every day.
5. Show your passion for each other in some small ways.
6. Never go to bed angry at each other even if you do not live together.
7. Keep thinking about the other person.
8. Do something you both love to do.
9. Do not be afriad to try something different with each other every once in a while.
10. Never forget to be their friend as well.
11. Never end the conversations with just "goodbye".
These were just some simple basic things that I wrote down after a nice calming Saturday with my boyfriend. It got me to think about what all I learned in the different relationships that I have been in. I hope these help you out like they have helped me.
~Thanks for reading.
Poetry Slam: Questions
Life is fragile.
Life is weak.
Two comeplete opposites yet both completely true.
Why does one take life,
and another brings one into the world?
Why do people inflict pain to themseleves to fight sadness,
when others smile with pure joy every day?
Asking myself these questions everyday has not brought me answers,
only more questions.
Why do we exist?
What is the meaning of life?
What is true love?
Why must we wonder the earth looking for our calling,
when the answer should have been given to us from a higher power.
Why? Why? Why?
But the planet keeps spinning,
the sun still rises and the moon brings the night.
Life goes on....
leaving me with questions.
~Thanks for reading. Comment on what you think.
Life is weak.
Two comeplete opposites yet both completely true.
Why does one take life,
and another brings one into the world?
Why do people inflict pain to themseleves to fight sadness,
when others smile with pure joy every day?
Asking myself these questions everyday has not brought me answers,
only more questions.
Why do we exist?
What is the meaning of life?
What is true love?
Why must we wonder the earth looking for our calling,
when the answer should have been given to us from a higher power.
Why? Why? Why?
But the planet keeps spinning,
the sun still rises and the moon brings the night.
Life goes on....
leaving me with questions.
~Thanks for reading. Comment on what you think.
Monday, July 8, 2013
My Very Special Guy
This Sunday I spent a very romantic day with my boyfriend. To an outside eye we did not do anything special at all, but to me the simple things in life are always amazing to experience with your true love in your life. We went for a walk around the mall, I bought him some early birthday gifts, than spent the afternoon in each others arms playing video games. Before I left he gave me one of his jackets that does not fit him anymore. He wore it when he was in 9th grade when we first met so now I have worn it all day since I got home from work. It means a lot to me and is very sentimental to me even if it does not fit me. I love the jacket and I love Allan with all my heart.
Thanks for reading :)
Newest quilt.
Here is my newest quilt I finished this week with my grandparents. This is a short post but there will be one to follow in just a moment. Thanks for reading. :)
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Poetry Slam: Dreams in the Night
As I turn on the lights in my dark room,
all the monsters creep out from their hiding spots.
The demons on my past and present there to taunt me.
All laughing in my sleep; invading my dreams.
Not even dreams about my love are safe anymore.
Even the dreams that would make no sense to the smartest person alive.
All I can do is open my eyes, wipe away the tears,
and try to fall asleep again.
Sometimes this happens once.....
Sometimes I lose count.
I write these poems to help in some way.
Even if I am not sure how they will.
We will have to wait and see
Once the Sandman comes to visit me again.
all the monsters creep out from their hiding spots.
The demons on my past and present there to taunt me.
All laughing in my sleep; invading my dreams.
Not even dreams about my love are safe anymore.
Even the dreams that would make no sense to the smartest person alive.
All I can do is open my eyes, wipe away the tears,
and try to fall asleep again.
Sometimes this happens once.....
Sometimes I lose count.
I write these poems to help in some way.
Even if I am not sure how they will.
We will have to wait and see
Once the Sandman comes to visit me again.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Welcome to My Day
Hello there readers. I would like to discuss how my day was....and how much I really do not like the current people I am working with. It started off with only have 5 kids in my classroom which is always an amazing surprise. I always enjoy that when it happens so I thought it was going to be a great day. Well, than the teacher in the next room over comes in with a "huge hangover" to use her words exactly that she complained about all day and even admitted still waking up feeling drunk.
I do not understand why people do that. They know they have work in the morning but they get drunk the night before so they will complain about it the whole next day. That to me is just plan inconsiderate even if you work with kids for crying out loud.
But enough of that. I was called before lunch time to go help a teacher in the four year olds so she could take out her trash. I told her the bag had a whole in it but still did not listen to me. She said when she returned that I could go back to my classroom but as soon as I was in the room the office told me to go back so she could clean up the mess. It makes me mad when I am told many different things at once when I make sure and triple check everything is done before I leave.
I have just wanted to be switched to an older classroom for a month now, but officially asked three weeks ago. I am still in the same room with the same teachers that are basically using me as the person who will do all the work they are supposed to help me with because they simply just don't feel like it or are to busy talking with the other people in the nearby rooms instead of their job.
Sorry for the rant. I just had to find a way to be able to get it off my chest. After all, there has to be an easy way to talk about everything so no one you know can find it but I can pull up as proof. Thanks for reading and have a great night as always.
I do not understand why people do that. They know they have work in the morning but they get drunk the night before so they will complain about it the whole next day. That to me is just plan inconsiderate even if you work with kids for crying out loud.
But enough of that. I was called before lunch time to go help a teacher in the four year olds so she could take out her trash. I told her the bag had a whole in it but still did not listen to me. She said when she returned that I could go back to my classroom but as soon as I was in the room the office told me to go back so she could clean up the mess. It makes me mad when I am told many different things at once when I make sure and triple check everything is done before I leave.
I have just wanted to be switched to an older classroom for a month now, but officially asked three weeks ago. I am still in the same room with the same teachers that are basically using me as the person who will do all the work they are supposed to help me with because they simply just don't feel like it or are to busy talking with the other people in the nearby rooms instead of their job.
Sorry for the rant. I just had to find a way to be able to get it off my chest. After all, there has to be an easy way to talk about everything so no one you know can find it but I can pull up as proof. Thanks for reading and have a great night as always.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Poetry Slam: To The One I Love (cont.)
We wont have to drive hundreds of miles back and forth to spend time with one another.
We will always be with one another as a family.
For our hunnymoon,
I wold not even care if we just stayed at home with one another.
We don't need a big fancy trip on a island or a nice getaway location somewhere.
All those things don't matter to me.
Being with you for the rest of my life is all I could ever as for in life.
Money can't buy happiness. Love and Affection can.
I know it seems like i have told you this a million times but I truly mean it every single time.
I always have and always will.
I love you Allan <3
And I want you to never forget how much you mean to me. I do not know where my life would be without you.
Happy Anniversary Love.
((Sorry, I wrote a lot more than I actually thought. I put them to two different posts because they would not fit together in one. So read part one before this one...Thanks for reading.))
We will always be with one another as a family.
For our hunnymoon,
I wold not even care if we just stayed at home with one another.
We don't need a big fancy trip on a island or a nice getaway location somewhere.
All those things don't matter to me.
Being with you for the rest of my life is all I could ever as for in life.
Money can't buy happiness. Love and Affection can.
I know it seems like i have told you this a million times but I truly mean it every single time.
I always have and always will.
I love you Allan <3
And I want you to never forget how much you mean to me. I do not know where my life would be without you.
Happy Anniversary Love.
((Sorry, I wrote a lot more than I actually thought. I put them to two different posts because they would not fit together in one. So read part one before this one...Thanks for reading.))
Poetry Slam: To The One I Love...
You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
In the darkest parts of my life when I wanted to end it all,
I thought of a person who would love me for who I am no matter what happened to me in my past.
As I dated other people,
I was searching for the right person who saved my life.
Only when I went to my last year few years in high school meeting you,
did my searching come to an end.
But I was scared...
I was afraid to be wrong or rejected.
I dated other people but only wanted to be with you.
When the day finally came when you told me you loved me...
My life was complete.
Nothing has ever made me that happy in my whole life.
Being with you is a dream come true every single day.
I never feel like I am all alone in the world now.
Every time I hear your voice or see you on skype or in person,
I feel like a million butterflies begin to all flap their wings at the same time all at once.
Every time I get that feeling,
I know that you are the one and only one I ever want to be with from now on.
On the day of our future Wedding,
When we say our "I Do's",
We begin the life I have always dreamed about together.
We won't have to call each other to listen to the sound of us breathing as we fall asleep.
((The rest will be on the next post))
In the darkest parts of my life when I wanted to end it all,
I thought of a person who would love me for who I am no matter what happened to me in my past.
As I dated other people,
I was searching for the right person who saved my life.
Only when I went to my last year few years in high school meeting you,
did my searching come to an end.
But I was scared...
I was afraid to be wrong or rejected.
I dated other people but only wanted to be with you.
When the day finally came when you told me you loved me...
My life was complete.
Nothing has ever made me that happy in my whole life.
Being with you is a dream come true every single day.
I never feel like I am all alone in the world now.
Every time I hear your voice or see you on skype or in person,
I feel like a million butterflies begin to all flap their wings at the same time all at once.
Every time I get that feeling,
I know that you are the one and only one I ever want to be with from now on.
On the day of our future Wedding,
When we say our "I Do's",
We begin the life I have always dreamed about together.
We won't have to call each other to listen to the sound of us breathing as we fall asleep.
((The rest will be on the next post))
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
A New Writing Outlet
Hello Everyone.
I know it has been a while since my last post but I am writing to explain why. I recently got a job as I said in my College help blog so it has blocked me from all the blogs I currently read. I am working with kids which can be a handful so I end up coming home very tired after working hard to keep them all happy. Today I was thinking about different things I wanted to get done lately when I remembered all the different stories I wanted to write for the longest time. I have moments of writers block so a lot of them have been stories where I started but was unable to finish them. So I plan from here on to try to finish the stories even if they only need to be a few chapters long. I am going to be posting them on a website called fanfiction.com. It is where I can write my stories that are based on other stories and "anime" books that I have read. I will also be posting up my username here for anyone that wants to take a read at my work.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great summer :)
Chrystal <3
I know it has been a while since my last post but I am writing to explain why. I recently got a job as I said in my College help blog so it has blocked me from all the blogs I currently read. I am working with kids which can be a handful so I end up coming home very tired after working hard to keep them all happy. Today I was thinking about different things I wanted to get done lately when I remembered all the different stories I wanted to write for the longest time. I have moments of writers block so a lot of them have been stories where I started but was unable to finish them. So I plan from here on to try to finish the stories even if they only need to be a few chapters long. I am going to be posting them on a website called fanfiction.com. It is where I can write my stories that are based on other stories and "anime" books that I have read. I will also be posting up my username here for anyone that wants to take a read at my work.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great summer :)
Chrystal <3
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Finally Employed :)
WOW!
I finally found a job working at a day care. I am so happy with the job and the hours are actually very well considering I work Monday through Friday with the weekends always free. It makes planning events so much easier now that I have certain days where I can and can't dot things. It also helps me to keep being able to see Allan, the man I love with all my heart and soul. I would have been very depressed if I was unable to see him as often as I have been. We have become even closer than we were before since we got together and I am so thankful every day that we did get together at last.
I get to work with these wonderful little one year olds. That are still learning how to walk and talk so it can be a bit of a challenge from time to time, but its nothing a girl like me can't handle for herself. They are the cutest little kids with their own unique personality all their own. I won't post any names or pictures of them so please do not ask me to. I do not have consent of any parents nor do I want to ask them. I will talk about them as a whole group and nothing more.
Well I know it had been a while since I posted so I knew something like this would fill the void for me to just get my thoughts out there from time to time. Soon college is over than I will be able to post a heck of a lot more in my boring free time. I will post soon :)
Thanks for reading.
I finally found a job working at a day care. I am so happy with the job and the hours are actually very well considering I work Monday through Friday with the weekends always free. It makes planning events so much easier now that I have certain days where I can and can't dot things. It also helps me to keep being able to see Allan, the man I love with all my heart and soul. I would have been very depressed if I was unable to see him as often as I have been. We have become even closer than we were before since we got together and I am so thankful every day that we did get together at last.
I get to work with these wonderful little one year olds. That are still learning how to walk and talk so it can be a bit of a challenge from time to time, but its nothing a girl like me can't handle for herself. They are the cutest little kids with their own unique personality all their own. I won't post any names or pictures of them so please do not ask me to. I do not have consent of any parents nor do I want to ask them. I will talk about them as a whole group and nothing more.
Well I know it had been a while since I posted so I knew something like this would fill the void for me to just get my thoughts out there from time to time. Soon college is over than I will be able to post a heck of a lot more in my boring free time. I will post soon :)
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Spring Break Early News
I am so excited. I might have the possibility to see the man I am in love with over this spring break and I can hardly wait. I still have to ask my god-parents though which is going to be the hard part. They believe that because he is a few years younger than me that the relationship will cause me to get into some sort of legal trouble. To make sure I would not get into trouble I had Allan ask his parents if they minded an older girl dating him and they actually approve. They met me one day at my old job and just adored me. My god parents don't know this yet but I will use it as a way to sell my idea for him coming to visit me during spring break.
I really hope they will let me see him. I plan to show him around where I grew up in this city. Well, everything in walking distance at least. But I am sure what ever we end up doing will be amazing just being in his arms for the first time we started dating and sharing our first kiss with one another. I picture the kiss to be a completely magical experienced like I have never experienced before in my life.
I know most people say that true love is a myth...but I have proved all of them wrong. Me and Allan are perfect for one another in so many ways that is crazy we were not together much sooner in our friendship. If I had said yes the first time he asked me out...I would have been with him for a whole year now...and still madly in love with him.
Thanks for reading my post. Stay tuned for more poetry and short stories coming soon. :)
I really hope they will let me see him. I plan to show him around where I grew up in this city. Well, everything in walking distance at least. But I am sure what ever we end up doing will be amazing just being in his arms for the first time we started dating and sharing our first kiss with one another. I picture the kiss to be a completely magical experienced like I have never experienced before in my life.
I know most people say that true love is a myth...but I have proved all of them wrong. Me and Allan are perfect for one another in so many ways that is crazy we were not together much sooner in our friendship. If I had said yes the first time he asked me out...I would have been with him for a whole year now...and still madly in love with him.
Thanks for reading my post. Stay tuned for more poetry and short stories coming soon. :)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Poetry Slam- For the One I Love
Roses are red,
Bluebonnets are blue,
I know this part is cheesy,
but I love you.
As I sit at home thinking about what to say,
all I can come up with is too much to say
Your the one for me with out a doubt,
you are the only one I truly care about.
The poems I write come straight from my heart,
even if they take me for ever to come up with the perfect one.
I know that all I would say in this poem to you
I have already said a million times before,
So I will end this poem with the three words that truly only matter....
I Love You
Will you be my Valentine?
Here is to the love of my life Allan as a gift for Valentines Day. Since I can not be there to see you in person I wrote this poem for what I would be saying to you in person if I could.
Thanks for reading :)
Bluebonnets are blue,
I know this part is cheesy,
but I love you.
As I sit at home thinking about what to say,
all I can come up with is too much to say
Your the one for me with out a doubt,
you are the only one I truly care about.
The poems I write come straight from my heart,
even if they take me for ever to come up with the perfect one.
I know that all I would say in this poem to you
I have already said a million times before,
So I will end this poem with the three words that truly only matter....
I Love You
Will you be my Valentine?
Here is to the love of my life Allan as a gift for Valentines Day. Since I can not be there to see you in person I wrote this poem for what I would be saying to you in person if I could.
Thanks for reading :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Love is in the Air
Ah, yes the one time of year that normally in my past life I have dreaded. Valentines Day for me has usually been spent alone in my room eating candy that my friends who felt bad for me being single gave me while everyone else goes and spends time with their romantic connections. Usually being the key phrase that I am happy is not for this case. A few weeks ago I finally admitted to a really amazing guy my true feelings for him in which he had felt the same way the whole entire time. Me and Allan are now together after waiting 2 years for us to tell one another and boy does that make this year even more special.
I find myself very lucky to have him in my life for many reasons. He is a really good friend. He truly cares about me as a person and not because he has to under a "boyfriend role". He understands that I am not perfect and has helped me work out my flaws. I really don't know how else to thank him for what he has given me and done for me enough with out saying the same things over and over again accidentally.
Being with Allan has helped me see that I truly can live my life with out any other form of help like medications. All I truly need is to look into my self and reach out to people, like him, who truly care about myself and my well being. I love him more than I have ever dreamed about loving another person. Thinking about all this now makes me want to call him up actually.
Before I post this romantic confession to him, I would like to shot out to all my readers with an early Happy Valentines Day. Have fun this holiday with your loved ones and do not feel bad at all if you end up being alone. Make it a day for yourself and rent movies and eat popcorn. Do stuff that makes you happy and you will make it clear through this holiday happy.
Thanks for reading.
I find myself very lucky to have him in my life for many reasons. He is a really good friend. He truly cares about me as a person and not because he has to under a "boyfriend role". He understands that I am not perfect and has helped me work out my flaws. I really don't know how else to thank him for what he has given me and done for me enough with out saying the same things over and over again accidentally.
Being with Allan has helped me see that I truly can live my life with out any other form of help like medications. All I truly need is to look into my self and reach out to people, like him, who truly care about myself and my well being. I love him more than I have ever dreamed about loving another person. Thinking about all this now makes me want to call him up actually.
Before I post this romantic confession to him, I would like to shot out to all my readers with an early Happy Valentines Day. Have fun this holiday with your loved ones and do not feel bad at all if you end up being alone. Make it a day for yourself and rent movies and eat popcorn. Do stuff that makes you happy and you will make it clear through this holiday happy.
Thanks for reading.
Hello Everyone :)
Hello my readers. I have found a way to be able to show you when I will be posting up my many different forms of writing. In the title I will start off the different ones with either "Poetry Slam" for my different poems I write or "Story Time" for my short stories. If I decide to add more subtopics I will be sure to post another post like this to explain it a little better. But for now if the post does not have those two phrases, it will most likely be more recent information about my life. Thanks for reading this post to understand how this will all work out.
Thanks for Reading :)
Thanks for Reading :)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Welcome New Readers
Hello Everyone, College Girl here. I decided to make another blog for my personal life as a whole to go over what all happens in my life for other people to read and enjoy. I am also going to be posting up my short stories, poems, songs I write, and other personal work that I accomplish to show you readers all the things that I manage to do on my free time. I know that my other two blogs are totally different styles than this one but those are sort of experiments to see if I would be good with a career in those writing fields. So I also made this one to see if anyone likes these forms of writing better than the others. If you do feel free to subscribe and to read them from time to time.
Thanks for reading :)
Thanks for reading :)
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